Right, then.

[waid]

Well, part of my town burned down the day before yesterday and on the same day I got a  phonecall telling me the landlord was putting my flat on the market. So, that rather pulled the plug on the amp of Waid-rock for the moment. And it also felt like a less than subtle hint.

Supposedly he'll keep the flat if he sells one of two other properties instead, and with the market being what it is this place is not likely to go particularly quickly, and it might be to another investment buyer who'd keep the tenants even if it did.

However, firstly, I don't really believe this "oh I might not sell it" crap -- his finances are fucked, his daughter's almost certainly about to apply to him for more money for the business she can't be bothered actually running, and as it's likely to take time to find a buyer why bother closing off the possibility?  And secondly it's the buggering uncertainty. I was going to DO all these things -- I am just, finally sane enough, solvent enough and sufficiently un-inundated by work  to contemplate, oh, finally sorting out the spare room and buying a desk and campaigning for a fridge freezer that WORKS and painting the bathroom and so on and so forth and now there's no point in any of it.

But  you know what, fuck it. This is an excellent way to draw my attention to the fact that this flat, while characterful and charming with its arched window over the street and its little terrace where I have a fuschia and a rose and an oleander  --  is also more or less MADE OF TWO-HUNDRED-YEAR-OLD PROBABLY-ROTTEN CARDBOARD WITH HOLES IN IT and the water stain on my bedroom wall may be shaped like the head of Ganesh but I still do not like it and the brown tide of damp spreading down the wall of the living room is going to get worse before it gets better. For a man with a special bloody environmentally-friendly kettle in his kitchen my landlord never gave a toss about putting in any kind of INSULATION so it's going to be either freezing or expensive again in a couple of months. And  I'm TWO HOURS AWAY from all my friends. And I miss London. I miss it a lot.


Goals. Goals are good. I do not need THAT much more cash to be able to move back to London. So that is what I am going to acquire, over the next few months, and then I am buggering off. I love this lairy, vinegary, piratey,  feckless,  beautiful fucked-up town,  with its flags and its ribbons and its wildflowers and its drums and its seagull shit  and its fancy dress. And what happened to it on Tuesday hurts like hell, but my parents are still here so I'm not losing the connection to it. I've been away from London for five years and that's long e-bloody-nough.

Comments

[tsubaki-ny.livejournal.com]

I like your "determined" face. :-) So to speak. *wishing you muchmuch luck*

[w-a-i-d.livejournal.com]

I thought of you, actually - I thought, if you could make all these plans to overhaul your life and, potentially DO IT move across an ocean, then for God's sake I ought to be able to do whateverthefuck to organise a workable life in the capital.

*raised fist of determination*

[tsubaki-ny.livejournal.com]

Heh -- let me just get through tomorrow's test without vomiting, and then I'll be as inspirational as you please...

(Also, WHOO HOO LONDON)

(Also please take pictures of the head of Ganesh.)

[w-a-i-d.livejournal.com]

You would go crazy for my bookcases:





And there's another one on the other side of the room. Sigh. I fear I may not find their like again.

I also fear that people who are not me may not see Ganesh here (okay, the fact that I have a carving of him in the same room helps)

You see, that's his ear on the left and that's his eye and... oh never mind.

[tsubaki-ny.livejournal.com]

*lusts after shelves*

*sanely*

*for now*

I CAN see Ganesha. I am going to attribute that to him actually being there and not my ridiculous suggestibility. :-)

[w-a-i-d.livejournal.com]

YAAAAAY HE IS REALLY THERE HE IS MANIFESTING.

[tsubaki-ny.livejournal.com]

He removes obstacles!

[w-a-i-d.livejournal.com]

It really is a sign!

[kate-lear.livejournal.com]

How did I miss this post first time around?? Good luck with finding somewhere nice in London (with large bookcases!); I'm moving there myself in early November. :D

I now have a slightly utterly ridiculous desire to coax more Holmes-slash people there too, so we can take over the capital with our collective gay Victorian-ness.

[kate-lear.livejournal.com]

*headdesk* Sorry, posted that in completely the wrong place, just leaping into the middle of your conversation with both feet.

God, I can be a muppet sometimes...

[w-a-i-d.livejournal.com]

Hee. No, no, don't worry. And hey, maybe when we're both in London we can have tea, or something!

[kate-lear.livejournal.com]

Yay, that would be lovely! Wasn't sure whether to suggest it (in case my adoring, hyper-exuberant comments on Winter in London had left you concerned about my stalker potential!) but yes, meeting up would be cool :D Drop me a message when you're in London (& good luck with the flat-hunting!)

[tsubaki-ny.livejournal.com]

(I am unbearably jealous of the huge recessed bookshelves...But they can be found elsewhere!)

[skull-bearer.livejournal.com]

Where do you think you'll be moving to? A friend of mine's just moved to Leytonstone, and it's pretty cheap there (cheap for London)

[w-a-i-d.livejournal.com]

I have very little idea, really. I have friends in Highgate, which clearly isn't CHEAP, but might not be beyond my grasp if I were successful with some of the changes I'm contemplating...

[skull-bearer.livejournal.com]

That's pretty steep, you could have your pick of most of London at that price.

[w-a-i-d.livejournal.com]

Heh, well, doing property searches it sure doesn't seem that way! (that I can take my pick, I mean.) I keep looking at the areas where my friends live and going Ouch.

But wherever I go, it does have to compete with where I am now, in terms of both speed-I-can-get-to-my-friends and general cuteness, or there's no point doing it.

[skull-bearer.livejournal.com]

I live in the East end, which is surprisingly nice and reasonably well-connected. Try Leytonstone, oen of my friends lives there and it's very small town-ish.

[ancientreader]

If you're going to have damp Ganeshly walls, have them in London, that's what I say.
Also -- aha!-- perhaps you can move just in time for winter. Winter in London! Get it? Ha ha ha.


(The fire sounds awful, though. Just so frightening and miserable, and people lose so many irreplaceable things.)

[w-a-i-d.livejournal.com]

Well, it was only one irreplaceable thing, to be fair -- it was Hastings pier, a local landmark which is/was 138 years old. It had been closed for four years because of safety concerns, and local people's efforts to save it from falling into ruin were JUST beginning to get somewhere -- the money was there, the architects' bids were due in, you know, NOW, and then these bastard kids go and do this. No one was hurt, but all the history, and all the people who've been hoping and trying so hard to keep it.

[w-a-i-d.livejournal.com]

Oh and Winter in London is MOSTLY not the best advertisement for London! Heh. Although, there is that little bit at the end, and it does make the point that there are pretty/cool people there, I guess. There are cool people here, but they are not pretty.

[w-a-i-d.livejournal.com]

Despite everything I had a slightly defensive "wait, it's not a pit!" reaction for a moment there (I've been quite happy! It has huge, built in bookcases!) ... but now I've just come back from the laundrette to find my full-length jewelled mirror has dropped off the wall (miraculously intact, which is important because I made it) -- why, you ask? Because that wall is so SODDEN it is now the texture and consistency of WET PAPIER MACHE and the hefty nail it was hanging on just DRAGGED THROUGH IT.

So yeah.

Thanks for the good wishes. I feel a bit scared, but that's okay.

[w-a-i-d.livejournal.com]

Ohhh. I wonder if that's what's causing this sinusitis I keep getting? I've been unusually resistant to colds and the like this year (normally I go down with everything; what gaining 7 pounds can do for a girl) but I did wonder about this chisel-in-the-eye-socket feeling which keeps coming back.

Yeah, there are an awful lot of people to talk to, I guess. And every part of the process is so damn time-consuming...

[f-m-r-l.livejournal.com]

I hope you find a place as cool as your jacket.

[w-a-i-d.livejournal.com]

Thank you. And thanks for the friendly words about my jacket (which really must be listed first) and my coming-out elsewhere. I had the slight advantage of being a bit of an old hand at this -- I did the whole "Oh, everyone, I believe I'm bi!" thing first at 18, when you're SUPPOSED to do it and then, when I was 21 because... oh, it would take to long to explain the "because", but rest assured it was completely moronic... I accidentally wandered back in again and stayed in for another ten years, occasionally muttering "It was just a phase!" or "Yes, I DO like boobs, but it's too late to do anything about that now so never mind." Which is why I've spent a good deal of the last month smacking myself in the head.