What am I doing?

... has anything better to do than use morphthing to create a cross between Solomin!Watson and Law!Watson?





Hmm. Morph!Watson somehow looks older than either one of his daddies, and inevitably he's a wee bit uncanny valley but he's not without a certain something, I feel.  He's not unlike Paget!Watson, with a less nightmarish moustache. If I had photoshop, I might be tempted to fix the lighting and the corpselike yet sweaty texture of his skin. And I'd want to do something about the way Jude Law's collar is tattooed onto his neck. So it's probably a good thing I don't have photoshop.

Oh God it is 2.30 in the morning and this installment is so damn nearly finished  but not quite. ( Very, very mildly spoilery whining about research problems.  )



The Adventure of the Dying Detective AU. For ingridmatthews ' prompt - "I read the AU where Watson gets poisoned. I now want to read the one where Watson DIES because Holmes is a drama queen."
Warnings: Well, see prompt. It's evil and horrible and you don't want to read it! But at least it's short.

( Infallibly Deadly )



Part I
Part II
Part III
Part IV
Part V
Part VI
Part VII
Part VIII

( Winter in London - Part IX )



This evening I went to a party, not wholly, but definitely partly, because it was at the Sherlock Holmes pub  near Charing Cross. Then I left early because I wanted to write Sherlock Holmes fanfiction. I think that sets some new pinnacle of tragic nerdery. 

On the train home I sat next to the loo so that I could stealthily power up my laptop from the nearby socket that is Not For Public Use. Opposite me sat two youngish men who were amused by my electricity-stealing shenanigans. They were also in a state of some raucousness and talking a lot about girls and shagging them.
.
Bloke 1: Is there SMUT on your computer?
Waid: *careful facial control*   No.
Bloke 1: *looks over shoulder at screen* UGH THAT'S DISGUSTING. *pause for reaction that doesn't come.* SHE'S LOOKING AT PORN! 
Waid: *looks completely  innocent*
Laptop screen: *looks completely innocent though Sherlock Holmes is in fact being desperately in love with Watson all over it*
Bloke 1: *has no actual idea* Oh, never mind

(Not that Winter in London IS smut, but... you know.).

Bloke 2, to Waid: It's tough being the sober  one, isn' t it?
Bloke 1: Don't apologise for me! I'm not that drunk. Anyway, you love it when I'm drunk! That's the only time you get to POUND MY ARSE. Here, I'm going to the toilet, DO YOU WANT TO COME WITH ME?
Bloke 2 *laughing fondly*: No thanks.
Blokes 1 & 2: *Continue to talk loudly about having sex with each other, while Waid continues to write slash fanfiction.*

Eventually Blokes 1 & 2 get off the train, paving the way for Blokes 3 & 4, who are strangers to each other.

Bloke 3: *Enters loo. Fails to lock door.*
Bloke 4: *Opens loo door.* Oh. Oh dear. I'm sorry.
Bloke 3: Oh dear.  I'm sorry. *Shuts door*
Bloke 4, to Waid: Well. That's good then. Something different on a Friday night. *walks away*

In short, it was the slashiest train ride ever. This was not actually at all erotic, but it was quite entertaining.

Well, that was a flailing, cracky, Gothic mess.  Prophetic dreams?! Come on, no. Some very weird writing, Brett at his most mannered, women in "Oh dear, try to kill me, would you? Well I will just stand here and scream" distress.

Really, I don't think Holmes at his most antisocial, nutty and sleep-deprived. would actually tell a woman to her horribly disfigured face that he envied her for having such a worthy adversary as the man who'd had this done to her and possibly murdered her sister. And I am certain that Watson would never leave a man, even a murderer, to be mauled to death by a leopard (?!). He tended to Baron Gruner after he'd tried to kill him and Holmes, for heaven's sake.
 
On the plus side: there can never be enough of 1) Holmes in a glorious floor-length nightshirt in the street; 2, Watson silently putting blankets round him, 3 super-intelligent bonkers women killing people and winning Holmes' admiration and tenderness.

I kind of ship Crazy Brett Holmes/Crazy Lady Helena now. Yes, I think he could be a little bit straight for someone as insane and brilliant as that. They could have fun scientifically destroying buildings together.

Appropriate icon is appropriate.

ETA: It did not have my "Cocaine?/NO Holmes!" scene in it. Woe.

SADFACE. It is ingridmatthews' fault. I dunno, should I bring this across here? I almost feel it's TOO EVIL and MISERABLE and may taint and damage my other stories in which clearly nothing bad happens to anyone.

Also, a tragic lack of anyone lying on a flat surface with someone else bending over them. What is that? Well, there's soooort of Mary bending over Watson, but it's just spooning on a bed and they're lying on their SIDES and that DOES NOT COUNT.

Part I
Part II
Part III
Part IV
Part V
Part VI
Part VII

( Winter in London - Part VIII )

>>Part IX( Winter in London - Part VIII )



(  The words “poor Doctor” have been a bugbear to Holmes for most of the last three months, now they turn him cold. “Mrs Hudson,” he asks, apprehensively, “Is Dr Watson well?”  )